it's not about the past

If the avodah of Rosh haShana is to review the past and do teshuvah on what we messed up during the previous year, then it would make the most sense to celebrate Rosh haShana on the last day of the year.  On the last day we could take stock of all that transpired over the previous year and make an accounting of where we did well and where we fell short.  But that's not what we do.  We celebrate not on the last day of the year, but rather on the first day of the year, before anything has even transpired in that new year yet.  How does that make sense?

Secondly, if you notice, our Rosh haShana davening actually does not have in it viduy, we don't klap al cheit, we don't say slichos on Rosh haShana.  All that is part of the avodah of Yom Kippur, but is not part of Rosh haShana.

So what is the avodah of the day?

Meforshim explain (see for example, the Sifsei Chaim, or the Sichos of R' Noson Tzvi Finkel) that Rosh haShana is not about the past, but rather it's about the future.  What do you want the new year to be?  What are your she'ifos for the future?   That's what you need to consider on day #1.

That is what the din of the day is all about: firstly, because a person is defined by his/her aspirations.  You may not get there, but you at least have to know where you are going.  And you have to ask Hashem help you get there. Secondly, and this is where teshuvah fits into the picture, our aspirations are inevitably shaped by where we are coming from and where we are currently holding.  The triple AAA baseball player hopes next year to move up to the majors, but the player on some low level minor league team is nowhere land can't realistically have that same dream.  If you come to the table with last year's baggage, it is hard to aspire to something radically different this year.  It's hard to ask Hashem, "Let me become a baki in sha"s this year," when you are coming to the table with a history of barely keeping up with daf yomi.  Hashem is not going to give a person a mission that will inevitably end in failure or be an exercise in futility.  It's a struggle to overcome the past, but that's what teshuvah is all about.

Around two weeks ago I did a post on the word "avah," and the question of how to understand the pasuk in our parsha speaking about the person who rebels against Hashem, "lo yoveh Hashem slo'ach lo."  How is it possible that G-d should not want to forgive even such a person?

The problem is I put the comma in the wrong place.  What actually makes the person rebellious is that, "Lo yoveh," he, this rebellious individual, does not want, comma, 'Hashem slo'ach lo," for G-d to forgive him (Mishne Sachir quoting Kreizer Rav of Sanz).

G-d is willing to forgive anyone.  All we have to do is want that forgiveness.

So that's what the next two days of Rosh haShana is all about -- finding amidst the nigunim, the chazzanus, the piyutim, the speeches, the tekiyos, one real moment of introspection, one moment where we really desire to be forgiven, one moment when we actually have a desire for true growth in the coming year and ask Hashem for help.

Hopefully we will all be successful in finding at least one moment like that and making the most of it.