tefilah makes a world of difference

Rashi writes that Yaakov prepared for his meeting with Eisav in three ways, התקין עצמו לג׳ דברים: לדורון, למלחמה, לתפילה.  Ramban mentions the same three things, but he switches the order, התקין עצמו לשלשה דברים: לתפלה, לדורון, ולמלחמה. In truth, both versions have a source in Chazal. However, given Yaakov's personality, doesn't Ramban's version have more appeal? Wouldn't you expect Yaakov Avinu to prioritize tefilah over everything else? Yet according to Rashi, it's last on the list?!

R' Shteinman explained that they key word here is התקין . When you have to do something difficult or something that makes you uncomfortable, it takes time to psych yourself up and prepare for the task. When it's something that is easy to do or an activity you like or that comes naturally to you, that same preparation is unnecessary.

For you and me, when it comes to davening vs going to work, for example, we ideally should be like the chassidim ha'rishonim the gemara describes, who would take an hour just to prepare for tefilah.  It takes effort for us to find meaning in tefilah and to be able to focus on tefilah, so it requires preparation.  Going to work comes more naturally to us, so we should just be able to run out the door to catch the train in the morning. (Lmaaseh, unfortunately we do the reverse, and we run into shul when they are half way through pesukei d'zimra and have one foot out the door by aleinu, but we spend an hour preparing for a presentation at work that lasts 5 minutes. Be that as it may, at least we can appreciate that things should be.)

For Yaakov Avinu, it was Torah and tefilah that required no preparation, because like David haMelech who said, "Ani tefilah," Yaakov embodied tefilah and was ready and focused 24x7. It was דורון and מלחמה which ran against his nature and which he had to psych himself and prepare for. Therefore, when explaining Yaakov's preparations -- the התקין -- Rashi puts these activities first.

2) On the topic of tefilah the Rabeinu Bachyei says an amazing vort at the beginning of our parsha. He quotes many examples to prove that sheep are a chashuv animnal, and if you are going to list your possessions, they should get first billing. For example, when the Torah speaks about the gifts that were given to Avraham (12:16) וּלְאַבְרָ֥ם הֵיטִ֖יב בַּעֲבוּרָ֑הּ וַֽיְהִי־ל֤וֹ צֹאן־וּבָקָר֙ וַחֲמֹרִ֔ים וַעֲבָדִים֙ וּשְׁפָחֹ֔ת וַאֲתֹנֹ֖ת וּגְמַלִּֽים, sheep are mentioned first. In parshas Toldos, when the Torah speaks about Yitzchak's wealth, וַֽיְהִי־ל֤וֹ מִקְנֵה־צֹאן֙ וּמִקְנֵ֣ה בָקָ֔ר וַעֲבֻדָּ֖ה רַבָּ֑ה וַיְקַנְא֥וּ אֹת֖וֹ פְּלִשְׁתִּֽים (26:14), sheep are again mentioned first. Why then in our parsha, when Yaakov tells Eisav about all the possessions he has accumulated, he doesn't mention the sheep first? וַֽיְהִי־לִי֙ שׁ֣וֹר וַחֲמ֔וֹר צֹ֖אן וְעֶ֣בֶד וְשִׁפְחָ֑ה... Why does he mention them only after שׁ֣וֹר וַחֲמ֔וֹר?

There are meforshim that say Yaakov singled out שׁ֣וֹר וַחֲמ֔וֹר because they are an allusion to the shevatim of Yissachar and Yosef. Yaakov calls Yissachar יִשָּׂשכָ֖ר חֲמֹ֣ר גָּ֑רֶם (49:14), and in Zos haBracha we read about Yosef בְּכ֨וֹר שׁוֹר֜וֹ הָדָ֣ר ל֗וֹ (33:15). Yaakov was signaling to Eisav that he would not be able to defeat him because of the power of Torah which is linked to Yissachar and the power of Yosef, who is the flame which can devour Eisav, as Rashi writes in last week's parsha. Since there is special significance to שׁ֣וֹר וַחֲמ֔וֹר beyond their value as animals, perhaps that is why they are listed first. That's all well and good in the world of derash, but it is a far cry from pshat. Eisav was not aware that Yaakov had 12 sons, nor would he have been aware of their character, so I don't see how he would intuit the remez.

R' Bachyei  gives a psychological answer.  Since Yaakov "tricked" his father by using sheep skins to disguise himself as Eisav and by bringing mutton to his father as a substitute for the food Eisav was supposed to bring, he didn't want to bring up sheep first thing in his conversation lest they remind Eisav of their past history.  Yaakov was not even sure the old wounds Eisav felt had healed, so he wanted to make sure he got off on the right foot. Therefore, he snuck in the mention of sheep agav urcha the other items on his list.

ומה שלא הקדימו בכתוב הזה לפי שלא רצה לפתוח לו בצאן לפי שע״י הצאן נתרוקן עשו מן הברכות וזכה יעקב בהן כענין שכתוב לך נא אל הצאן

If so, asks the R' Bachyei on himself, why is it that just a few pesukim later, when the parsha lists the gifts that Yaakov sent to Eisav, the very first item on the list is the sheep! עִזִּ֣ים מָאתַ֔יִם וּתְיָשִׁ֖ים עֶשְׂרִ֑ים רְחֵלִ֥ים מָאתַ֖יִם וְאֵילִ֥ים עֶשְׂרִֽים (32:15)

והנה לפי מה שכתבתי למעלה שלא רצה לפתוח לו בצאן בפסוק ויהי לי שור וחמור, למה פתח עתה במנחה בעזים ותישים,

Here is the amazing answer of the R' Bachyei:

והענין כי קודם שהתפלל תפלתו לא רצה שיפתחו לו המלאכים בלשון צאן, כי יהיה סבה לעורר שנאה ומזכרת חובה להזכיר לו ראשונות, אבל עתה אחרי שהתפלל לא פחד ממנו כלל אבל רצה להפחידו, ופתח לו בעזים לומר אם דעתך להלחם בי לא תוכל, שהרי קבלתי הברכות ע״י שני גדיי עזים, ואמר לי (בראשית כ״ז:כ״ט) הוה גביר לאחיך ולך אמר ואת אחיך תעבוד.

Kan kodem tefilah, kan l'achar tefilah! Before davening, Yaakov was worried about what would happen if he brought up the topic of sheep. He didn't want to trigger Eisav. After davening, he was no longer afraid.  

There is a story of someone who travelled to meet the Chazon Ish to ask whether they should go ahead with a potentially dangerous surgery that might prove fatal, but according to the doctors was the only chance to save the person's life. The person came right before mincha and begged the C.I. to listen to their shayla as it is a question of pikuach nefesh. The C.I. heard the facts and said given the doctor's advice, he must do the surgery. The C.I. then invited the person to join him for mincha. After mincha, the CI asked the person to repeat the shayla. This time, after hearing him out, the C.I. said not to do the surgery. "Why the change?" asked the petitioner. TThe C.I. answered that the difference is that they had just davened mincha and he had the person in mind.  Kan koden tefilah, kan l'achar tefilah.  One tefilah can make a world of difference and completely change the circumstances.