mussar from the daf (nazir 28)

There is a tremendous mussar in the daf yomi that is worth mentioning. The Mishna (Nazir 28) discusses the cutoff point after which a husband can no longer be meifer his wife’s nezirus. According to R’ Eliezer who holds nezirus is not finished until the nazir cuts his/her hair upon completion, so long as a person’s wife has not cut her hair, her husband may still be meifer. Why? Tosfos explains that the husband is empowered to be meifer nedarim which cause pain, inuy. Since a person’s wife suffers the inuy of not being able to drink wine until the final haircut takes place, the neder is subject to hafarah until that point.

Think about this for a moment. We have a women who has gone a least a full month observing her vow of nezirus successfully. She has brought her korbanos to the Beis HaMikdash and offered them already. All that remains is a short delay until she can take a haircut. How much trouble could waiting for that haircut cause? Yet, that little delay, the little demand that a person have patience, is still called inuy, suffering!