don't lock the box!

In the middle of the night Yaakov transferred his wives and 11 children across the Yabok to distance them from Eisav (32:23).  The Midrash (partially quoted in Rashi) writes:

 וַיָּקָם בַּלַּיְלָה הוּא וַיִּקַּח אֶת שְׁתֵּי נָשָׁיו וְאֶת שְׁתֵּי שִׁפְחֹתָיו וגו׳ – וְדִינָה הֵיכָן הִיא, נְתָנָהּ בְּתֵבָה וְנָעַל בְּפָנֶיהָ, אָמַר הָרָשָׁע הַזֶּה עֵינוֹ רָמָה הִיא, שֶׁלֹא יִתְלֶה עֵינָיו וְיִרְאֶה אוֹתָהּ וְיִקַּח אוֹתָהּ מִמֶּנִּי. רַב הוּנָא בְּשֵׁם רַבִּי אַבָּא הַכֹּהֵן בַּרְדְּלָא אָמַר, אָמַר לוֹ הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא (איוב ו׳:י״ד): לַמָּס מֵרֵעֵהוּ חָסֶד, מָנַעְתָּ מֵרֵעֲךָ חָסֶד, מָנַעְתָּ חַסְדְּךָ מִן אֲחוּךְ, דְּאִלּוּ אִתְנְסֵיבַת לְגַבְרָא לָא זִנְּתָה [נסח אחר: דנסבת לאיוב לאו גירתיה בתמיה], לֹא בִקַּשְׁתָּ לְהַשִּׂיאָהּ לְמָהוּל הֲרֵי הִיא נִשֵּׂאת לְעָרֵל, לֹא בִקַּשְׁתָּ לְהַשִּׂיאָהּ דֶּרֶךְ הֶתֵּר הֲרֵי נִשֵּׂאת דֶּרֶךְ אִסּוּר, הֲדָא הוּא דִכְתִיב (בראשית ל״ד:א׳): וַתֵּצֵא דִינָה בַּת לֵאָה

The count of 11 children does not include Dinah, or there would have been 12.  Where was she?  The Midrash answers that Yaakov hid her in a box and locked the top so that Eisav should not see her.  As punishment for depriving Eisav of the opportunity to marry Dinah -- she might have turned him around -- Dinah was later taken by Shchem.

It is hard to understand the Midrash's criticism of Yaakov.  Eisav was a really bad guy.  Surely it behooved Yaakov to take precautions and not simply allow his young daughter to marry a rasha!  (see post here and here, and R' Shteinman's comments here.)

I a nice diyuk to answer this question:  נְתָנָהּ בְּתֵבָה וְנָעַל בְּפָנֶיהָ  Yaakov not only put Dinah in a box, but the Midrash says he locked the top as well so that it was impossible to open.  Yaakov 100% closed off the possibility of Dinah marrying Eisav, he 100% was invested in the path he thought was best.  What Chazal are telling us is that it's OK to take necessary precautions, to make the necessary hishtadlus to meet any situation.  However, never think that you're efforts are the only path to a solution.  Never close the door to other possibilities.  Sometimes the direction that looks least likely to bear fruit, the path that looks most fraught with danger and risk, is davka the path Hashem will choose for a person.  So don't lock the box -- you can only be 99% certain.

The Netziv makes a similar point.  At the end of P' VaYeitzei the Torah tells us that Yaakov fled from Lavan's house.  Yaakov trusted that hasgachas Hashem would allow him to make his escape without Lavan learning of his departure and in that way he would be safe.  Yet that's not what happened.  Lavan did learn of Yaakov's escape, he did chase after him, but nonetheless, thanks to hashgachas Hashem, Lavan was unable to do anything.  Hashem protected Yaakov and everything worked out, just not in the way Yaakov imagined it would happen. In Harchev Davar (31:21) Netziv writes:

כך המה דרכי ישראל בכל עת אשר המה בוטחים בהשגחתו יתברך שיהיה אתם בדרך שהמה הולכים, והקב״ה מיפר עצתם כדי לצערם ולצרף אותם או משום טעם אחר, ומכל מקום מצילם ומגונן עליהם בדרך אחר בדרך שלא חשבו ולא עלה על דעתם

If you try to anticipate how Hashem will bring salvation, you may be surprised because it may come from a completely different direction than expected.  Preconceived notions do not dictate the reality.

An example from day to day life that illustrates this point: the world of shidduchim.  How many girls turn down a guy because they don't want a boy from that yeshiva or that background or entering that profession?  The same for guys who turn down girls for crazy reasons.  We're talking frum people who are baalei bitachon, meaning they trust that Hashem will give them Mr/Ms Right who comes from the yeshiva, the background, who is in profession that they think is most suited for them.  They've locked the box!  The lucky ones eventually realize that Hashem's plan does not necessarily match up to their preconceived notions.  A girl who would never date a YU boy after a few years finally decided to try going out with a "good" YU boy and now, after marriage, YU boys are the greatest.  

An example from our communal life: frum baalei bitachon trust that if Hashem is going to bring us redemption and return us to Eretz Yisrael, that dream cannot possibly be realized through kofrim and chilonim.  Therefore, why celebrate our having a State?  Instead, they  await the white donkey bringing Moshiach to rectify the situation.  They've locked the box!  Hashem, however, has other ideas.  Don't worry -- the geulah will come despite our efforts to outsmart Hashem's plan.  As the Netziv tells us, that's the way it's always been.