done in with one's own words

 VaYomer Hashem el Moshe: Hein karvu yamecha la'mus... (31:14)

The  Midrash comments:

דָּבָר אַחֵר: הֵן קָרְבוּ יָמֶיךָ – לָמָּה נִגְזַר עָלָיו מִיתָה בָּזֶה הַלָּשׁוֹן הֵן, רַבָּנָן אָמְרֵי לְמָה הַדָּבָר דּוֹמֶה, לְאֶחָד שֶׁכִּבֵּד אֶת הַמֶּלֶךְ וְהֵבִיא לוֹ דּוֹרוֹן, חֶרֶב חַדָּה. אָמַר הַמֶּלֶךְ הַתִּיזוּ אֶת רֹאשׁוֹ בָּהּ. אָמַר לוֹ אוֹתוֹ הָאִישׁ, אֲדוֹנִי הַמֶּלֶךְ בַּמֶּה שֶׁכִּבַּדְתִּיךָ בָּהּ אַתְּ מַתִּיז אֶת רֹאשִׁי. כָּךְ אָמַר משֶׁה, רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם בְּהֵן קִלַסְתִּיךָ, שֶׁכֵּן כְּתִיב (דברים י׳:י״ד): הֵן לַה׳ אֱלֹהֶיךָ הַשָּׁמַיִם וּשְׁמֵי הַשָּׁמָיִם וגו׳, וּבְהֵן אַתָּה גּוֹזֵר עָלַי מִיתָה. אָמַר לוֹ הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא שָׁכֵן רָע רוֹאֶה אֶת הַנִּכְנָסוֹת וְאֵינוֹ רוֹאֶה אֶת הַיּוֹצְאוֹת, אָמַר לוֹ אִי אַתָּה זָכוּר בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁשְּׁלַחְתִּיךָ לִגְאֹל אוֹתָן מִמִּצְרַיִם וְאָמַרְתָּ לִי (שמות ד׳:א׳): הֵן לֹא יַאֲמִינוּ לִי, הֱוֵי הֵן קָרְבוּ יָמֶיךָ.

Moshe said to Hashem, "How can you use that word 'hein' to tell me I am going to die when I used that same word to sing your praises?"  Hashem responds, "But you also used that word when you said 'hein Bnei Yisrael lo ya'aminu li' when I told you to go to Mitzrayim to redeem them."

Hashem is zocher kol ha'nishkachos.  One word -- hein -- that Moshe said 40 years previously, many many moons ago, that obviously Moshe himself did not even have on his radar at this point, Hashem took him to task for.  I can barely remember what I ate for breakfast yesterday.  Hard to imagine having to give a din v'cheshbon on every word said years ago.

The Midrash gives a mashal: an officer brought a new sword to the king, a symbol of the king's power, and the king responded by ordering the officer's head chopped off with that very sword.  The very word Moshe used to praise Hashem became the dagger that did him in.

R' Leib Chasman writes something deep here.  We see from the mashal that din is not just about aveiros.  The officer who brought the king a new sword did nothing wrong -- aderaba, he was trying to honor the king!   It's not so simple on Rosh haShana that your aveiros get put on one side of the scale and your mitzvos -- your shmiras shabbos, your tefilos, your tzedaka, etc. -- get put on the other side.  On the mitzvos themselves there is a din.  You davened -- that's great.  But where was your kavanah?  Where was coming to shul on time?  etc.  Hashem doesn't ask those questions to the person who doesn't daven at all.  That person missed the boat completely.  But Hashem says to me, you did daven -- so you know what davening is all about.  If you know what it's all about, then how can you do the type of davening that you do???  Hoisted by your own petard.  It's the present the officer brings to the king which does him in!

Moshe Rabeinu said 'hein la'Hashem ha'shamayim' etc.  He was honoring the king! But there's honor and there's honor.  Hashem said to Moshe, when it comes to other people, you certainly know what a lack of emunah is -- hein Bnei Yisrael lo ya'aminu li.  If your sensitivity to emunah and kvod shamayim is so well developed, then let's turn the same spotlight on your own actions.  Yes, you praised the king, but someone for someone in your shoes, someone who is so medakdek on emunah, on kavod for the King, is that really enough?  

Frightening, isn't it?

I hate to end the week with something so frightening, so something else to chew on:  

 Ki karov eilecha ha'vara me'od, b'picha ub'levavcha la'asoso.

The Midrash writes that Shlomo haMelech said 7 things about the lazy person, but the one thing that Moshe said about laziness topped all of them.

ומה שאמר משה היה גדול מכולן.

מניין?

כי קרוב אליך הדבר מאד בפיך ובלבבך לעשותו, הוצא דבר מתוך פיך.

Don't be lazy -- just pull the words of Torah out of your mouth.

Pull the words out?  What if you don't know the words?  Or, to ask the question a different way, why does the pasuk put "picha" before "levavcha?"  Don't you need to have the right ideas in your heart/mind before they can come out of your mouth?  

(Shem m'Shmuel 5671 quotes the words we say in neilah: tilamdeinu l'hisvados lifanecha lma'an nechdal mei'oshek yadeinu.  Sometimes the viduy is not a response to teshuvah but is the catalyst for teshuvah.  Sometimes you have to articulate where you want to go and express and desire to get there and only then do the heart and actions follow.)

Says the Sefas Emes (5634): 

קרוב אליך כו' בפיך ובלבבך לעשותו. פי' שיכול האדם לעשותו קרוב. ובמדרש הוציא דבר מתוך פיך כי הש"י נטע בכל איש ישראל נקודה גנוזה בלב והאדם צריך רק להוציאו מכח אל הפועל.

Pshat is not "b'picha ub'levavcha la'asoso" to make yourself know Torah, or love of mitzvos, etc.  Pshat in the pasuk is "ki karov... b'picha ub'levavcha la'asoso" to make it karov to you. The Torah is already inside,  the words are already there.  The Torah just requires us to work at bringing out our own potential.  

Last week it was very late in the day when I posted Hilel Paley's beautiful nigun based on the words of the Ohr haChaim in Ki Tavo.  This week I made a mental note to not make the same mistake and so here's Eitan Katz's rendition of ki karov early enough for you to enjoy: