Friday, September 03, 2021

b'makom she'baalei teshuvah omdim

Perek 30 opens by telling us that as a response to the brachos and kelalos we will eventually do teshuvah:

 וְהָיָה֩ כִֽי־יָבֹ֨אוּ עָלֶ֜יךָ כׇּל־הַדְּבָרִ֣ים הָאֵ֗לֶּה הַבְּרָכָה֙ וְהַקְּלָלָ֔ה אֲשֶׁ֥ר נָתַ֖תִּי לְפָנֶ֑יךָ וַהֲשֵׁבֹתָ֙ אֶל־לְבָבֶ֔ךָ בְּכׇ֨ל־הַגּוֹיִ֔ם אֲשֶׁ֧ר הִדִּיחֲךָ֛ ה׳ אלקיך שָֽׁמָּה

The pesukim then continue that as a result, Hashem will gather us back to Eretz Yisrael, and everything will be great.

But then 8 pesukim later, the Torah again tells us:

וְאַתָּ֣ה תָשׁ֔וּב וְשָׁמַעְתָּ֖ בְּק֣וֹל ה׳  וְעָשִׂ֙יתָ֙ אֶת־כׇּל־מִצְוֺתָ֔יו אֲשֶׁ֛ר אָנֹכִ֥י מְצַוְּךָ֖ הַיּֽוֹם

And we have a description of the brachos that will come as a result of that return.

If the beginning of the perek describes our return to Hashem, הֲשֵׁבֹתָ֙ אֶל־לְבָבֶ֔ךָ, then what is this return of וְאַתָּ֣ה תָשׁ֔וּב וְשָׁמַעְתָּ֖ בְּק֣וֹל ה׳ that comes later in the perek?  We already did teshuvah -- why do we need an encore performance?

There are two types of teshuvah.  There is teshuvah that happens when a person can no longer tolerate the weight of sin on his/her shoulders and is therefore moved to turn to G-d (or his/her fellow man) to ask for forgiveness.  That's the first section of our parsha.  This teshuvah is an attempt to find refuge and catharsis from the pain at hand.  

But then there is yet another level of teshuvah.  Once the sin has been rectified and that burden removed, instead of just moving on with life as "normal," a person can instead hold on to those feelings of humility, contriteness, and the longing to draw closer to G-d that teshuvah brought.  Rav Kook in Orot Teshuvah sees teshuvah as a lifelong process, a process that even tzadikim can engage in, because teshuvah of this type is not just a bandaid, a way to remove that burden of guilt and sin, but is an attitude that brings one ever closer to G-d.  This is the second half of the parsha.

Sefas Emes (5638) writes that when we talk about "b'makom she'baalei teshuvah OMDIM afilu tzadikim ainam yecholim laamod" it's this type of teshuvah that we are talking about.  The teshuvah that sticks with a person forever -- that a person is OMEID in -- not just teshuvah that a person does to get rid of a sin and then moves on.  

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