Friday, November 03, 2023

Avraham the "buddy" of Aneir, Eshkol, and Mamrei vs Avraham the spiritual tamim: a contradiction?

 At the beginning of the last perek (17) in last week's parsha Avraham is given the command of milah:

וַיְהִי אַבְרָם בֶּן תִּשְׁעִים שָׁנָה וְתֵשַׁע שָׁנִים וַיֵּרָא ה׳ אֶל אַבְרָם וַיֹּאמֶר אֵלָיו אֲנִי קל שַׁדַּי הִתְהַלֵּךְ לְפָנַי וֶהְיֵה תָמִים.

וְאֶתְּנָה בְרִיתִי בֵּינִי וּבֵינֶךָ וְאַרְבֶּה אוֹתְךָ בִּמְאֹד מְאֹד

Rashi quotes from Midrash that וֶהְיֵה תָמִים  is the outcome of milah: תהיה תמים – שכל זמן שהערלה בך אתה בעל מום.  It's descriptive, not prescriptive.  Ibn Ezra, however, understands הְיֵה תָמִים as a command, part of the instruction given to Avraham of how to do milah: שלא תשאל: למה המילה  Fulfill the command without any questions.  

(Other meforshim also read it as a command, but not specifically related to milah -- see Ramban, Seforno.)

Fast forward to our parsha where we read that Hashem appeared to Avraham in Elonei Mamrei.  Rashi comments that the Torah mentions the place because הוא שנתן לו עצה על המילה.  Avraham consulted with his friends for advice, and Mamrei encouraged him to go ahead with the mitzvah of milah.  Therefore, he is named as a way of giving credit.  

The meforshei Rashi all struggle to understand why Avraham would consult with friends after he has been given a command by G-d to fulfill.  Was there any question in his mind that he was going to do the mitzvah?  I would just add that the Midrash is even more striking in light of Ibn Ezra's pshat that in this case an explicit part and parcel of the mitzvah is not to ask any questions!   

The Chidushei haRI"M explains the purpose of Avraham's consultation with others:

 ואחר המילה שנשתנה מכל עולם ודחתה בריתו לברית של נח הי' ירא שיהי' נבדל מאנשי עולם. ולא יהי' מעורב עם הבריות שיוכל ללמדם ולגמול חסד מאחר שע"י המילה הוא למעלה מהטבע. ושאל לענר כו' איך שנראה להם ענין המילה דכ' מחשבה בעצה תכון שע"י שנתברר חלקי הסותר ונדחו. נעשה הענין מקוים לנצח. ומה"ע שאלם שיאמרו דעתם ויטה את לבבם וישארו דבוקים בו גם אחר המילה. וב' סתרו שע"פ הטבע א"י למול וממרא אמר הש"י הצילך כ"כ במדרש. והיינו שע"פ שכל אדם מחויב לעשו' דבר שלמעלה מהטבע מאחר שהקב"ה מתנהג עמו למעלה מהטבע. וכך סדרו של עולם. שצריך שיהי' אומה אחת דביקה בה'. והנהגה למעלה מהטבע. ועי"ז תתפשט חיים וקדושה אל הטבע וכל העולם. וזכה עי"ז שנגלה בחלקו והי' בו הרגשת קדושה ממראה שהי' לאברהם וכתוב גם לדורות שמי שטוב בעיניו הנהגת הצדיק וישראל מתברך מכלל ואברכה מברכיך. וכן באדם עצמו אם עכ"פ טוב בעינו הקדושה. לממ"נ לשי"ת גם שרחוק ממנו יש תקנה וג"כ בכלל ואברכה מברכיך

Avraham's life's work was kiruv and outreach.  Even though the world of chessed and tzidkus that he inhabited was alien to the world of idolatrous behavior around him, he somehow was able to bridge that gap and draw others into his world.  The mitzvah of milah posed, in Avraham's mind, a risk to all that.  He could not be sure that the world could relate to someone who would do a mitzvah of milah, and so he reached out to see how his friends would react.  One could say the Ch haRIM is raising the question of balance between our particularism and the universal message of being an ohr ha'goyim.  Does the former impede on the latter?  But the Ch haRI"M is also raising another issue as well, a more personal one, namely, whether an increase in one's personal religious committment, in this case the mitzvah of milah, need create a distance between oneself and others.  How, for example, does a baal teshuvah, who takes on a host of practices not in sync with family or friends, still relate to those who do not share those newfound beliefs and practices?  What the Ch haRI"M is suggesting is that by consulting with the Mamrei's of the world, one can invite the respect of others, who thereby can join in one's spiritual ascent, even if in practice they remain in a world apart.

R' Ben Tzion Aba Shaul writes (here you have a Sefardi spin on a Gerrer vort) that the Ch haRI"M gives us a better appreciation for the context of Avraham's search for visitors as he sat by his tent entrance after the milah.  Avraham was wondering whether he would now find himself isolated, or whether he would still be able to continue his outreach efforts.

In a few brief lines R' Ben Tzion Aba Shaul makes another point that, to be honest, completely slipped by me when I saw this Ch haRI"M.  I gave the example above of the baal teshuvah whose adoption of mitzvos may impinge on his relationships with others.  One can flip the same issue around and look at things the other way as well: Imagine the kiruv program organizer who wants to hang out and be one of the guys in order to build a relationship.  Does that interaction and intermingling pose a threat to his own religious commitment and development?  Can Avraham the "buddy" of Aneir, Eshkol, and Mamrei, one of the guys, also be Avraham the tamim who is spiritually perfect, or is there a conflict between the two roles?

Ramban writes in our parsha:

והנה פירוש הפרשה הזאת: אחרי שאמר כי בעצם היום הזה נמול אברהם (בראשית י״ז:כ״ו), אמר שנראה אליו השם בהיותו חולה במילתו יושב ומתקרר בפתח אהלו מפני חום היום אשר יחלישנו, והזכיר זה להודיע שלא היה מתכוין לנבואה, לא נופל על פניו ולא מתפלל, ואף על פי כן באה אליו המראה הזאת.

What G-d is showing Avraham is that even when he is not 100% spiritually ready, able, and prepared, he can still experience nevuah.  R' Ben Tzion Aba Shaul links this message to the Ch haRI"M.  Being one of the guys means that sometimes one is not in a spiritually 100% ready to go mode.  However, that is not an obstacle to greatness, to temimus, to coming close to Hashem.

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