The past few days I have felt a bit torn between different emotions. Today is my father's yahrzeit, and l'havdil being ha'meisim v'hachaim, last Friday my daughter had a baby boy, our first grandson (and just to be clear: had it been another granddaughter, I would be just as happy). You feel a sort of whiplash going from mi'shebeirach for bito ha'yoledes to K-l malei for a parent.
וַיִּסְע֣וּ מֵרְפִידִ֗ים וַיָּבֹ֙אוּ֙ מִדְבַּ֣ר סִינַ֔י וַֽיַּחֲנ֖וּ בַּמִּדְבָּ֑ר וַיִּֽחַן־שָׁ֥ם יִשְׂרָאֵ֖ל נֶ֥גֶד הָהָֽר (19:2)
There seems to be a redundancy in the pasuk. We are told וַֽיַּחֲנ֖וּ בַּמִּדְבָּ֑ר, that Bn"Y camped in the desert, but then the pasuk repeats, וַיִּֽחַן־שָׁ֥ם יִשְׂרָאֵ֖ל נֶ֥גֶד הָהָֽר, that Bn"Y camped near the mountain. Both statements could have compacted into one phrase וַיִּֽחַן or וַֽיַּחֲנ֖וּ and then say בַּמִּדְבָּ֑ר נגד ההר (see Netziv). Why split the sentence in two?
Sefas Emes (in the Likutim) answers that the pasuk is referring to two different things. וַֽיַּחֲנ֖וּ בַּמִּדְבָּ֑ר refers to the physical encampment of Bn"Y. וַיִּֽחַן־שָׁ֥ם יִשְׂרָאֵ֖ל refers to "ישׂראל סבּא." Yaakov Avinu, the Avos, our forefathers, also joined us at Sinai.
Chazal tell us that the souls of all future generations were present at Sinai. The Sefas Emes is telling us that the souls of those who came before us were there as well. We cannot have a future unless we also connect to our past.
R' Meir Lichtenstein (R' Aharon's son) quotes the Rav as pointing out the gemara in Kid (30a)
אמר ריב"ל כל המלמד את בן בנו תורה מעלה עליו הכתוב כאילו קבלה מהר סיני שנאמר והודעתם לבניך ולבני בניך וסמיך ליה יום אשר עמדת לפני ה' אלהיך בחורב
tells us that teaching a grandchild Torah carries with it a special bracha of being like the experience of Sinai. This applies davka to a grandson -- המלמד את בן בנו -- but apparently not to teaching one's son.
However, the Rambam in Hil Talmud Torah (1:2) writes that if one is forced to choose between educating one's child or one's grandchild, one's own child takes precedence:
אם כן למה נצטוה על בנו ועל בן בנו. להקדים בנו לבן בנו ובן בנו לבן חבירו:
So which is more important: teaching one's son or teaching one's grandson?
The Rav answered that there are two dinim in talmud Torah. In terms of imparting information, teaching one's own child takes precedence over teaching anyone else, even a grandson. The gemara in Kiddushin is speaking about something else. The experience of Sinai was not just about learning laws, digesting information. The experience was about creating a masorah so that Torah connects generation to generation. It's when you go beyond the natural parent-child connection and add another generation into the mix, a grandparent to grandchild bond, that that idea expresses itself.
See the Sefer Hmkn
ReplyDeletehttps://hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=24635&st=&pgnum=133
DH מעלה עליו
where he says that yes, the chiyuv to teach a son is greater, but what the child will get more from his grandfather than he would
from his father, because
אינו דומה לשומע מפי הרב לשומע מפי התלמוד
so, :
אף על גב שמחוייב בנו ללמדו שהוא אביו
meaning the his son, the child's father, is chayav to teach his own son,
אלא שאינו דומה ממה שיקבל מבנו
meaning it can't be compared, what the g'son will get from the son
ממה שיקבל ממנו
to what the g'son will get from the g'father
לכך חייב התורה לאבי אביו שהוא עדיף ממנו
I never understood what he means. He says it's pashut that the father has the greater obligation. But then he says it's pashut that the experience of g'f and g'son is of greater benefit than that of f and son. So why isn't the chiyuv equal on the g'father? The answer, as you quote, is that the father's obligation is one of the חיובי האב על הבן, you brought him into the world, you're obligated to see to it that he can navigate it and survive. The other benefit of limud hatorah, of the kesher to Sinai, that is best created by the g'father. But it is not obligatory to the same extent as the father's obligation of simple yedias hatorah.
Just came across in this week's parsha the Seforno 23:26 את מספר ימיך אמלא – שתחיו כמדת השמן אשר בנר אלהים, והוא הלחות השרשי בתולדה. והיפך זה יקרה על הרוב שימות האדם קודם שיכלה הלחות השרשי בחלאים, יקרו מרוע בחירה או מצד המערכת והיסודות. והנה במלאת לאדם מספר ימיו יראה על הרוב בנים לבניו ויוכל ללמדם, כאמרו ״והודעתם לבניך ולבני בניך״ (דברים ד׳:ט׳), ויתוקן בחיי הזקנים עניני הדורות, כמו שספר שקרה בענין לוי קהת ועמרם.
DeleteHe specifically mentions grandchildren. See: https://hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=42862&st=&pgnum=335
Good. Mazal Tov on your first grandson! May you have great nachas from him.
DeleteI do not recall what the Seforno is referring to when he says ויתוקן בחיי הזקנים עניני הדורות, כמו שספר שקרה בענין לוי קהת ועמרם.
On that line R' Cooperman z"l in his notes on the Seforno sends you to the Seforno's comment to Shmos 6:14 אבל לוי שהאריך ימים על כולם גידל גם את בני בניו להבין ולהורות, וכן קהת ועמרם, באופן שיצאו מהם משה ואהרן ומרים.
DeletePerfect Thanks Especially Miriam - a Heroine who escaped the negativity of
Deleteאמר רב נחמן: לא יאה יהירותא לנשי, תרתי נשי יהירן הויין, וסניין שמייהו, חדא שמה זיבורתא, וחדא שמה כרכושתא.
that's a keeper.
ReplyDelete