Sunday, September 21, 2025

the lesson we can learn from the confusion of the satan; the shofar's echo into the future

1) We do a lot of things before R"H with the intent of confusing the satan.  Some explain that the reason we don't bentch rosh chodesh Tishrei is in order to confuse the satan so he doesn't know that Rosh haShana is upon us.  The gemara (R"H 16) also talks about blowing tekiyos d'meyushav in order to confuse the satan (see Rashi and Tos for different explanations of what that means).   We don't blow tekiyos on erev R"H to confuse the satan and make him thing he missed the holiday (if the reason was simply to separate the tekiyos d'orasysa of the chag from the tekiyos of the month of Elul which are only a minhag, then it would be enough to skip blowing during the daylight hours before yom tov; the additional reason of trying to confuse the satan precludes blowing even during the night of erev Y"T).  My wife commented on shabbos that the satan must not be the sharpest crayon in the box.  Every year we do the same things to confuse him, and every year he falls for it! 

I think this is exactly the Chazal want to ellicit in order to make a point.  The gemara tells us that the satan= the yetzer ha'ra.  Every year we ask for mechila and slicha and promise to do better, yet every year the yetzer ha'ra appeals to us with the same tricks as the year before and every year we fall for it again!  If you laugh at the yetzer ha'ra for falling for the little rouse we pull, the jokes on you for falling for his even simpler tricks.  

2) Almost all Yamim Tovim celebrate something that happened -- leaving Egypt, sitting in sukkot in the desert, being saved from Haman, the victory of the Chashmonaim.  The holiday of R"H is בַּכֵּסֶה לְיוֹם חַגֵּנוּ.  We are celebrating the creation of the world, an event long past, but we are also celebrating something that hasn't happened yet, something that is still concealed and hidden from us.  R' Tzadok haKohen writes (Divrei Chalomos #14):

ומצות שׁופר בּר"ה אין הקדושׁה מתגלית בּלב עדיין והוא בּכּסה רק אח"ך היא פּועלת בּהתגלות לבּו

כל מחשבות של יראת שׁמים הבּאים ללב האדם בּכל ימות השׁנה הכּל מקיום מצות שׁופר בּר״ה 

We don't necessarily feel the full effect the shofar has upon on us R"H, but as the year goes on, it's sound echoes within us inspires.  Shofar is not just about the past, but it heralds the future, as we look forward to בּיום ההוא יתקע בּשׁופר גדול.

Thursday, September 18, 2025

what a difference a day can make

פֶּן־יֵ֣שׁ בָּ֠כֶ֠ם אִ֣ישׁ אֽוֹ־אִשָּׁ֞ה א֧וֹ מִשְׁפָּחָ֣ה אוֹ־שֵׁ֗בֶט אֲשֶׁר֩ לְבָב֨וֹ פֹנֶ֤ה הַיּוֹם֙ מֵעִם֙ ה׳ אֱלֹקינוּ לָלֶ֣כֶת לַעֲבֹ֔ד אֶת־אֱלֹהֵ֖י הַגּוֹיִ֣ם הָהֵ֑ם פֶּן־יֵ֣שׁ בָּכֶ֗ם שֹׁ֛רֶשׁ פֹּרֶ֥ה רֹ֖אשׁ וְלַעֲנָֽה׃

וְהָיָ֡ה בְּשׇׁמְעוֹ֩ אֶת־דִּבְרֵ֨י הָאָלָ֜ה הַזֹּ֗את וְהִתְבָּרֵ֨ךְ בִּלְבָב֤וֹ לֵאמֹר֙ שָׁל֣וֹם יִֽהְיֶה־לִּ֔י כִּ֛י בִּשְׁרִר֥וּת לִבִּ֖י אֵלֵ֑ךְ לְמַ֛עַן סְפ֥וֹת הָרָוָ֖ה אֶת־הַצְּמֵאָֽה׃

לֹא יֹאבֶה ה׳ סְלֹחַ לוֹ כִּי אָז יֶעְשַׁן אַף יְהֹוָה וְקִנְאָתוֹ בָּאִישׁ הַהוּא וְרָבְצָה בּוֹ כׇּל הָאָלָה הַכְּתוּבָה בַּסֵּפֶר הַזֶּה וּמָחָה ה׳ אֶת שְׁמוֹ מִתַּחַת הַשָּׁמָיִם.

How can a person hear the tochacha and react so cavalierly כִּ֛י בִּשְׁרִר֥וּת לִבִּ֖י אֵלֵ֑ךְ?

If you want to say that the pasuk is talking about someone who is not a maamin, then, as the Nesivoas asks in his sefer on chumash Nachalas Yaakov, the continuation doesn’t make sense. What good is threatening such a person וְרָבְצָה בּוֹ כׇּל הָאָלָה הַכְּתוּבָה בַּסֵּפֶר הַזֶּה? If he didn’t believe in the theats of the tochacha, then why would this threat be any more believable? The pasuk must be addressing itself to someone who does take the threat of punishment seriously, and nonetheless, feels like he is immune to the danger.

The sefer Tiferes Banim (the son of the Bnei Yisaschar) has a nice psychological insight here. The yetzer ha'ra is not dumb. Were he to try to convince a person to take a 180 degree turn and go from shemiras hamitzvos to kefira, it likely will never work. You find even non observant Jew who, when they are threatened and pushed to renounce their yahadut, will find the strength to be moseir nefesh. So what does the yetzer ha'ra do? He creeps up on a person one degree at a time. It's not a 180 degree turn in the opposite direction, but it's just a small turn, putting things a little off kilter. An example: A frum guy goes to work, comes home at the end of the day, and goes out to learn the daf yomi. He does it every day -- it's daf yomi after al! But tonight is the superbowl and his home team is in it (obviously not a NYer). Tonight is the world series. So the yetzer ha'ra says, "You are not giving up night seder. Chas v'shalom! This is just a one off, a minor exception. Just for tonight, you can take a break and enjoy the game." This, says the Tiferes Banim, is what the pasuk is describing, אֲשֶׁר֩ לְבָב֨וֹ פֹנֶ֤ה הַיּוֹם֙ מֵעִם֙ ה׳ אֱלֹקינוּ The person hears the tochacha and says, "That's not talking about me! I'm just making an exception this one day -- הַיּוֹם֙ -- and that's it." It's not a 180, it's just one degree! But the truth is אם תעזבני יום יומים אעזבך.

I would just add 2 small cents. What we say about a midah ra'ah is true even more so about a midah tovah. How can you defeat the yetzer ha'ra?  If you try to do a 180 degree turn and change your life completely, he will fight you tooth and nail.  But if you turn just one small degree, you can slip things by him.  An example: A guy never goes to daf yomi.  One night in Elul he says to himself, "There is nothing good on Netflix tonight anyway, football is still in preseason, the shul has free cholent on Thurs, so maybe I'll go to the shiur tonight."  No promises about the future, no promises even about tomorrow.  He will tell you that he is still not a daf yomi guy, but for that night, he's there.  He changed one degree.  אַתֶּ֨ם נִצָּבִ֤ים הַיּוֹם֙ כֻּלְּכֶ֔ם לִפְנֵ֖י ה׳ אֱלֹקיכֶ֑ם  It's just one day -- הַיּוֹם֙!  But if turning one degree in the wrong direction and thinking that it won't make a difference can lead to disaster, then turning one degree in the right direction, with the intent that it will make a positive difference, will inevitably lead to better things.  More good days will follow.

We say in our davening on R"H that היום הרת עולם. Why speak about hirayon? Since the world came into being, why not speak about "ha'yom leidas olam," or something like that?

The Mishna at the end of Brachos has a din that one is not permitted to pray for something that already happened and is fixed in place. The example Chazal give is praying that your pregnant wife should have a boy. It's a done deal; the sex of the baby in her womb is already determined, so there is no point to asking Hashem to do something about it. The gemara, however, raises a question. The Bavli presents the question is as follows:

מֵתִיב רַב יוֹסֵף: ״וְאַחַר יָלְדָה בַּת וַתִּקְרָא אֶת שְׁמָהּ דִּינָה״: מַאי ״וְאַחַר״? אָמַר רַב: לְאַחַר שֶׁדָּנָה לֵאָה דִּין בְּעַצְמָהּ וְאָמְרָה: שְׁנֵים עָשָׂר שְׁבָטִים עֲתִידִין לָצֵאת מִיַּעֲקֹב, שִׁשָּׁה יָצְאוּ מִמֶּנִּי וְאַרְבָּעָה מִן הַשְּׁפָחוֹת, הֲרֵי עֲשָׂרָה. אִם זֶה זָכָר, לֹא תְּהֵא אֲחוֹתִי רָחֵל כְּאַחַת הַשְּׁפָחוֹת, מִיָּד נֶהֶפְכָה לְבַת, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״וַתִּקְרָא אֶת שְׁמָהּ דִּינָה״

Leah knew that there were going to be only 12 shevatim. She was carrying a boy but petitioned Hashem to change the sex of the child so that she would have one less boy and Rachel one more. By doing so Rachel could be zocheh to bring into the world at least as many shevatim as Bilha or Zilpa.

How could Leah's prayers work when she was already pregnant and the sex of the child was already determined?

The gemara gives two answers: 1) it was a miracle, and we are not on the level of the Imahos to ask for such a thing; 2) she petitioned Hashem early enough in her pregnant before the sex of the baby was determined.

The Yerushalmi (Brachos 9:3) and Midrashim present the story a bit differently.

דְּבֵית יַנַּאי אָמַר בְּיוֹשֶׁבֶת עַל הַמַּשְׁבֵּר. הָא קוֹדֶם כֵּן יַצְלִי. עַל שֵׁם הִנֵּה כַחוֹמֶר בְּיַד הַיּוֹצֵר. רִבִּי בְּשֵם דְּבֵית יַנַּאי עִיקָּר עִיבּוּרָהּ שֶׁל דִּינָה זָכָר הָיָה. מֵאַחַר שֶׁנִּתְפַּלְלָה רָחֵל נַעֲשִית נְקֵיבָה. הֲדָא הִיא וְאַחַר יָלְדָה בַת וַתִּקְרָא אֶת שְׁמָהּ דִּינָה. מֵאַחַר שֶׁנִּתְפַּלְלָה רָחֵל נַעֲשִית נְקֵיבָה.

According to the Yerushalmi, prayer is effective up until the moment the women is about to deliver the baby. Leah is not an exception to the rule – anyone can do the same. The Yerushalmi quotes words that we are also very familiar with from our tefilos on Yamim Noraim: הִנֵּה כַחוֹמֶר בְּיַד הַיּוֹצֵר. We are clay in Hashem's hands, and he can transform us in an instant.

This is why, says R' Chaim Kanievsky (Taama d'Kra), we say "היום הרת עולם." It may be R"H already, but don't give up. We are still "expecting," the delivery is not yet complete. There is still time for tefilah, there is still time for change.

I don’t know that היום need apply only to R"H. We can say about every day and every moment that it is היום הרת עולם, pregnant with potential to be the moment of that first step, that turn in the right direction. Carpe diem! Just like אֲשֶׁר֩ לְבָב֨וֹ פֹנֶ֤ה הַיּוֹם֙ מֵעִם֙ ה׳ אֱלֹקינוּ means frittering away one day, one moment, can thereby throw someone off track, every day is the day, the moment, where one can get back on track.

One cannot do a 180 in a day, even a great day like R"H or Y"K. Change happens in small degrees. But even a change of one degree, a change of one day, can set a person on the path to improvement.

Sunday, September 14, 2025

why no nechama after the tochacha -- my 2 cents

I want to add something to what I wrote last post. To review, Shu"T Radbaz (2:769) gives three reason why there are no pesukei nechama at the end of the toachaha in this week's parsha:

A)First answer is that there is nechama. His example is the pasuk גַּ֤ם כׇּל־חֳלִי֙ וְכׇל־מַכָּ֔ה אֲשֶׁר֙ לֹ֣א כָת֔וּב בְּסֵ֖פֶר הַתּוֹרָ֣ה הַזֹּ֑את יַעְלֵ֤ם ה׳ עָלֶ֔יךָ עַ֖ד הִשָּׁמְדָֽךְ׃ Although Rashi interprets יעלם – לשון עלייה, the Zohar interprets it as העלמה, i.e. Hashem will turn aside and ignore the punishments that might be deserved. As Radbaz notes, the pshat is certainly like Rashi (see Sifsei Chachamim who explains grammatically why Rashi is correct), but at least derech remez, we see that behind the scenes there is something positive going on.

B) It is the shem Havaya, the shem of rachamim, that appears throughout the tochacha. The fact that everything done is b'hashgachas Hashem and for our benefit in the nechama. The Chida similarly writes that the total # of letters that appear in the tochacha (I'll take his word for it) is 676, gematriya of רעות. The shem Havaya appears 26 times. 26x26=676. This is what tempers the effect of the tochacha.

C) The bris of the tochacha concludes not in our parsha, but continues in Netzavim. It is there that the pesukei nechama which conclude the discussion of the bris appear. This helps answer the question of why, even though there is a takana to read the tochacha at the end of the year because tachel shana v'kililoseha, we actually read it one shabbos before the end of the year and read Nitzavim next week. R' Tzadok haKohen explains that the blessings of the upcoming week come down to the world on the previous shabbos. Had we ended the year with tochacha, it is tochacha which would come down to the world for the week of Rosh haShana. We therefore insert a break, so that we have a shabbos in which bracha can come into the world for the upcoming week when we will celebrate R"H. According to Radbaz, the question is moot. Ki Tavo goes hand in hand with Nitzavim -- it is one kri'ah spread over two weeks.

On shaboos I saw that the Ohr haChaim also asks this same question as Radbaz and answers that the tochacha in Behukosai is written in the plural and directed at the community, the tzibur. Klal Yisrael as a whole is guaranteed nechama. Our parsha in written (mostly) in the singluar and is directed at the individual. There is no promise that any individual will in fact be granted nechama.

I would like to suggest my own answer to the Radbaz's question. Rashi alludes to Chazal's statement that the tochacha in Bechukosai was given directly by Hashem; the tochacha of Ki Tavo was given by Moshe himself. What Chazal mean by this requires explanation. Sefer Devarim was said by Moshe, but surely Moshe was giving over what was told to him by G-d. Whatever Chazal meant, bottom line is there is that difference.  The Dvar Hashem "digested" through Moshe is not the same as what is given in the other books.

I think this is why there is no nechama in our parsha. We read in the haftarah a few weeks ago (of Shoftim, Yeshyahu 51:12) אנכי אנכי הוא מנחמכם. Only Hashem can provide true consolation to the suffering endured by the Jewish people. As great as Moshe Rabeinu was, he was just a human being (a very holy human being, but still, a human being). He can be the conduit for tochacha, but he cannot give us true nechama. For that, we wait for Hashem alone.

Klal Yisrael has had enough tochacha the past two years. אנכי אנכי הוא מנחמכם. We are eagerly awaiting, and hope to see it this year.

Thursday, September 11, 2025

bikkurim -- not just thanks to G-d; why no nechama in this tochacha; choser kol - not if you have a gemara!

1) The Maor v'Shemesh has a striking hesber of the mitzvah of bikkurim that emphasizes the chassidic idea of connecting with the tzadik. At first glance, the mitzvah of bikkurim is about giving thanks.  However, if that's all there is to the mitzvah, then why travel all the way to the Beis haMikdash with a gift of new fruit for kohen? You can give thanks to Hashem at home. Maor vaShemesh therefore suggests that the idea of bringing bikkurim is to connect oneself to the kohen, to the tzadik, to someone on a higher level of avodah, and through that connection to elevate oneself. To quote a taste:

וזהו שפירש"י ז"ל ובאת אל הכהן וכו' ואמרת אליו הגדתי היום וכו' שאינך כפוי טובה אין הפירוש שיצטרך להגיד שאינו כפוי טובה לנגד השם רק הפירוש הוא שאינו כפוי טובה לנגד הכהן ושמכיר שכל הטובה הוא באה לו ע"י המשכת הכהן וזהו שאמר הגדתי היום לה' אלהיך ויחד שמו יתברך על הכהן דייקא להורות מה שאמרנו שמחזיק טובה אל הכהן שע"י ההשפעה שהוא ממשיך בגודל יחודיו הוא אוכל בסבתו


Bikkurim is about hakaras ha'tov, but rather than address our thanks to G-d, Maor v'Shemesh says to address our thanks to the tzadik, as he is the one who enables our tefilos and avodah to do what they need to do.

He emphasizes the point again in the next piece: שענין הבכורים היתה להורות שלא בכוחו ועוצם ידו הוא עושה חיל רק שהברכה באה לו על המשכת השפע שמושכין הצדיקים ע"י ייחודיהם

The next parsha in our sedra deals with viduy maasros. Why is it called viduy? We are not confessing to some crime? Seforno answers that had we not sinned in the cheit ha'eigel then avodah and all the gifts that go with it would belong to the bechorim. When we give away tru"m to the kohanim, we are acknowledging the sin of the eigel that forced us into this position.

The Shem m'Shmuel (5672) offers a different hesber:

ולפי האמור יתפרש בטוב הענין וידוי מעשר שמתודה שמצד עצמינו אין אנו ראויים לדיבוק אלקי ואנו נזקקים לאמצעות הכהנים והלוים ועניים ועדת החסידים כנ"ל:


This piggybacks on the Maor v'Shemesh's idea that we need the help of a kohen/rebbe/rabbi to help us find our way, and bikkurim, terumos, maasros, etc. forges a connection to these people. It's called viduy because of that recognition that we can't get there ourselves. We are acknowledging our limitations, our shortcomings, even as we struggle to reach out and find a way to transcend them.

I'm not so much of a chassid, but I think we can take something away from this idea anyway. When a person is blessed with their bikkurim, with their first taste of success, the reflex of a religious person is to turn to G-d and thank Him. It's purely a bein adam l'Kono interaction. We know our success does not belong to us alone, but comes through siyata d'Shemaya. What our parsha is perhaps telling us is to extend that thanks outward to the world of bein adam l'chaveiro as well. Not because your friend or neighbor directly helped you complete your PhD or close the big deal or put in a good word so that you got that promotion -- that probably was not the case. But do you really think it was entirely your bein adam l'Kono that got you all that? Are your prayers so powerful and effective that they merited Hashem giving you what you asked for? Are your zechuyos so great that they were enough to bring Hashem's blessing? Maybe you got what you wanted because you are part of a community that deserves siyata d'Shemaya.

If it was just about you, then you could stay home, eat your bikkurim, and say a bracha on them to thank G-d. But that's not enough. You have to recognize that you are part of a community, part of a nation, and your success is a product of their tefilos and avodah as much if not more than your own. Therefore, the mitzvah requires that you travel to Yerushalayim, that you connect with the kohen, with the levi, with others who are engaged in avodah which indirectly benefits you as much as themselves.

2) תַּ֗חַת אֲשֶׁ֤ר לֹא־עָבַ֙דְתָּ֙ אֶת ה׳ אֱלֹקיךָ בְּשִׂמְחָ֖ה וּבְט֣וּב לֵבָ֑ב מֵרֹ֖ב כֹּֽל׃

וְעָבַדְתָּ֣ אֶת־אֹיְבֶ֗יךָ אֲשֶׁ֨ר יְשַׁלְּחֶ֤נּוּ יְהֹוָה֙ בָּ֔ךְ בְּרָעָ֧ב וּבְצָמָ֛א וּבְעֵירֹ֖ם וּבְחֹ֣סֶר כֹּ֑ל וְנָתַ֞ן עֹ֤ל בַּרְזֶל֙ עַל־צַוָּארֶ֔ךָ עַ֥ד הִשְׁמִיד֖וֹ אֹתָֽךְ׃ (Devarim 28:47-48)

R' Gershom Eidelstein found a Mechilta (HaChodesh 1:9) that interprets as follows:

. דָּבָר אַחֵר: "וּבְחֹסֶר כֹּל", שֶׁיְּהוּ חֲסֵרִין תַּלְמוּד תּוֹרָה וּמָמוֹן וְדֵעָה וְחָכְמָה וּבִינָה. דָּבָר אַחֵר: "וּבְחֹסֶר כֹּל", שֶׁנִּטְּלָה מֵהֶן הַדַּעַת.

Mashma that you can be in a state of בְּרָעָ֧ב וּבְצָמָ֛א וּבְעֵירֹ֖ם, but if you still have דַּעַת (R' Gershom said so long as you still have talmud Torah, but that pshat in the midrash lists מָמוֹן alongside t"T, so I am not sure limud really stands on its own) things will not be as bad. See Viktor Frankl's book for an exposition on this point.

The flipside is no less true. תַּ֗חַת אֲשֶׁ֤ר לֹא־עָבַ֙דְתָּ֙ אֶת ה׳ אֱלֹקיךָ בְּשִׂמְחָ֖ה וּבְט֣וּב לֵבָ֑ב מֵרֹ֖ב כֹּֽל׃׃ַַ֗֗ means you have רֹ֖ב כֹּֽל, you have learning, you have da'as, you are sitting in front of a gemara all day, but you are not filled with simcha, then that's the cause for tochacha. If you weren't "shivti b'beis Hashem" and parked in front of a gemara, neicha that you feel dissatisfied, but if you are blessed to be able to sit and learn, even if you are lacking in the luxuries of life, you should still feel fulfilled.

3) Shu"T Radbaz (2:769) asks why we don't find any pesukei nechama at the end of the tochacha in Ki Tavo like we do in the earlier tochacha in Bechukosai. He gives three answers: 

A) גַּ֤ם כׇּל־חֳלִי֙ וְכׇל־מַכָּ֔ה אֲשֶׁר֙ לֹ֣א כָת֔וּב בְּסֵ֖פֶר הַתּוֹרָ֣ה הַזֹּ֑את יַעְלֵ֤ם ה׳ עָלֶ֔יךָ עַ֖ד הִשָּׁמְדָֽךְ׃ although Rashi interprets יעלם – לשון עלייה, the Zohar interprets it as העלמה, i.e. Hashem will turn aside and ignore the punishments that might be deserved. As Radbaz notes, the pshat is certainly like Rashi, but at least derech remez, we see that behind the scenes there is something positive going on.

B) It is the shem Havaya, the shem of rachamim, that appears throughout the tochacha. The fact that everything done is b'hashgachas Hashem and for our benefit in the nechama.

C) The bris of the tochacha concludes not in our parsha, but continues in Netzavim. It is there that the pesukei nechama which conclude the discussion of the bris appear.

There is a takana to read the tochacha at the end of the year, tachel shana v'kililoseha. We never actually conclude the year with Ki Tavo, but always have Nitzvavim/Vayelech separating it from Rosh haShana. This makes perfect sense according to this final reason, as Nitzavim is really the concluding section of the bris in Ki Tavo.

Thursday, September 04, 2025

one small step in the right direction

לֹֽא־תִרְאֶה֩ אֶת־שׁ֨וֹר אָחִ֜יךָ א֤וֹ אֶת־שֵׂיוֹ֙ נִדָּחִ֔ים וְהִתְעַלַּמְתָּ֖ מֵהֶ֑ם הָשֵׁ֥ב תְּשִׁיבֵ֖ם לְאָחִֽיךָ

וְאִם־לֹ֨א קָר֥וֹב אָחִ֛יךָ אֵלֶ֖יךָ וְלֹ֣א יְדַעְתּ֑וֹ וַאֲסַפְתּוֹ֙ אֶל־תּ֣וֹךְ בֵּיתֶ֔ךָ וְהָיָ֣ה עִמְּךָ֗ עַ֣ד דְּרֹ֤שׁ אָחִ֙יךָ֙ אֹת֔וֹ וַהֲשֵׁבֹת֖וֹ לֽוֹ׃

וְכֵ֧ן תַּעֲשֶׂ֣ה לַחֲמֹר֗וֹ וְכֵ֣ן תַּעֲשֶׂה֮ לְשִׂמְלָתוֹ֒ וְכֵ֣ן תַּעֲשֶׂ֗ה לְכׇל־אֲבֵדַ֥ת אָחִ֛יךָ אֲשֶׁר־תֹּאבַ֥ד מִמֶּ֖נּוּ וּמְצָאתָ֑הּ לֹ֥א תוּכַ֖ל לְהִתְעַלֵּֽם׃


I can't remember who says it, but it's interesting that the pesukim in our parsha in this section (22:1-3) as well as throughout the perek refer to אָחִ֜יךָ, while in parshas Mishpatim, כִּ֣י תִפְגַּ֞ע שׁ֧וֹר אֹֽיִבְךָ֛ א֥וֹ חֲמֹר֖וֹ תֹּעֶ֑ה הָשֵׁ֥ב תְּשִׁיבֶ֖נּוּ לֽוֹ (23:4), the Torah speaks about אֹֽיִבְךָ֛. Before cheit ha'eigel you could speak of sinners and saints, those who are אֹֽיִבְךָ֛ and those who are אָחִ֜יךָ. After cheit ha'eigel, we are all tainted and are in the same boat together.  Everyone is 
אָחִ֜יךָ

The meforshei pshat clarify that וְהִתְעַלַּמְתָּ֖ מֵהֶ֑ם is not what you are supposed to do. That phrase is connected with the the לֹֽא־תִרְאֶה֩, and is what to avoid. Ibn Ezra writes: והתעלמת – דבק עם לא תראה. Chazal derech derush do read it as a stand alone command, as there are times and circumstances where a person is allowed וְהִתְעַלַּמְתָּ֖ מֵהֶ֑ם to ignore the lost item and avoid fulfilling the mitzvah of hashavas aveida. But following the pshat reading, the question that begs asking is why the pasuk seems to be phrased so awkwardly.  If the meaning is that one is not supposed to turn aside, then why not just phrase it in the negtive, like the last pasuk does, לֹ֥א תוּכַ֖ל לְהִתְעַלֵּֽם?  Why phrase it in the positive so you need a peirush Rashi or an Ibn Ezra to make sense of things?  In fact, why say anything at all in this pasuk when you have that לֹ֥א תוּכַ֖ל לְהִתְעַלֵּֽם at the conclusion?

A second problem in the pshat of the parsha is that the third pasuk seems like it could be eliminated entirely. Instead of speaking only about שׁ֨וֹר אָחִ֜יךָ א֤וֹ אֶת־שֵׂיוֹ֙ in the first pasuk and then adding an entire pasuk about חֲמֹר֗וֹ and שִׂמְלָתוֹ֒ and כׇל־אֲבֵדַ֥ת אָחִ֛יךָ, why not stick all of those items in the first pasuk? Why not say לֹֽא־תִרְאֶה֩ אֶת־שׁ֨וֹר אָחִ֜יךָ א֤וֹ אֶת־שֵׂיוֹ֙ או את חמורו או את שׂמלתו etc.? (Granted you also need to explain why each of these items has to be mentioned, but the gemara takes care of that question.)

Lastly, it's worth noting the formulation of לֹ֥א תוּכַ֖ל לְהִתְעַלֵּֽם instead of אל תתעלם (or something similar). לֹ֥א תוּכַ֖ל in other contexts means, "It can't be done," as opposed to here, where it means, "It may not be done."  It's not impossible, it's just not allowed. We've discussed this formulation in other contexts, but it's still worth noting.

So what are we to make of this all?

The Alshich solves all three problems in one shot. This section, as well as other sections in our parsha, demands that we rise above the direction our natural inclination pulls us. You see an animal wandering in a road or a field, you know it is lost and needs to be taken care of and led home, but do you really want to go out of your way to do so? After all, we are all busy, we all have our own things to take care of -- who has time to get involved? Let the owner go find his animal and deal with it. וְהִתְעַלַּמְתָּ֖ מֵהֶ֑ם is what we are all thinking, what we all want to do, what human nature drives us to do. B y phrasing the pasuk this way the Torah is telling is that it knows exactly what is going on inside our head. But don't do it, says the pasuk. Overcome that inclination.

How is a person supposed to do that? The answer is הָשֵׁ֥ב תְּשִׁיבֵ֖ם לְאָחִֽיךָ. Chazal take note of the double phase here and teach us הָשֵׁב תְּשִׁיבֵם. הָשֵּׁב. אֲפִלּוּ מֵאָה פְּעָמִים מַשְׁמָע. The Alshich draws on the principle of mitzvah goreres mitzvah. If you work hard and manage to do the right thing once, הָשֵׁ֥ב, then it get's easier, and תְּשִׁיבֵ֖ם, you will end up doing it a second time as well. Once you take the first step in the right direction, the next step down that road comes more naturally and is even easier.

That first pasuk singles out ־שׁ֨וֹר אָחִ֜יךָ א֤וֹ אֶת־שֵׂיו because in those cases there is the animal to think of. You may not want to get involved, but on the other hand, it's hard not to take pity on an animal, especially a b'heima tehora. But once you take that first step, things snowball from there:

אך עתה אחר שהחלות לעשות מצוה זו בטהורים מובטחני בך שוכן תעש' לחמורו עם שהיא בהמה טמאה. ועדיין אפשר שיהי' רצון טוב במצוה למה שהוא בעל חי משום צער בעלי חיים אך מזה ימשך לך שוכן תעשה לשמלתו ואחרי ששלשת במצוה מאז דע לך שכ"כ תהי' מושרש ומלומד במצוה שמעצמך לא תוכל להתעלם

Once you do the right thing when it comes to a lost b'heima tehora, you will end up doing the right thing when it comes to a chamor, and then when it comes to a lost shirt, and then whenever the opportunity to do the mitzvah arises.  After time, you become habituated to do the right thing. לֹ֥א תוּכַ֖ל לְהִתְעַלֵּֽם Not just that you are not allowed to, but at this point, you can't turn away. It's now built into your nature to do good.

It's hard to know whether there is a rhyme or reason to the smichus ha'parshiyos in Ki Teitzei. Some meforshim try to link each section to the next, others avoid dealing with the problem.  The Alshich offers an explanation here, but I would like to suggest something a little different than what he writes. The parsha opens with the din of yefat to'ar, which is followed by ben sorer u'moreh because one bad turn leads to another -- gving into the temptation to take the yefat to'ar leads to the problems of the ben sorer. The ben sorer u'moreh himself is neherag al shem sofo, because given the direction he is headed, future crimes seem inevitable. A step in the wrong direction is followed by other steps down the same road. Our parshas of hashavas aveida is the same principle in action, but in a positive way. Instead of one bad turn leading to another, in this case it's one good turn leading to another, one positive step snowballing in the right direction until it is goodness which becomes inevitable.

Many meforshim talk about the message these parshiyos, which are always read this time of year, have for us in Elul. The lesson here is simple. If you are aiming to do an about face and break all your bad habits on erev Rosh haShana, it ain't gonna work. True change comes about gradually and takes time. That's why we have a full month to prepare for Yamim Noraim. You can't change everything at once, but what's important is to take that first step in the right direction. Change one small thing, and then mitzvah goreres mitzvah; that will lead to the next step in the right direction.  Over time the transformation will happen.  The wrong thing will eventually be a לֹ֥א תוּכַ֖ל, just not possible anymore, as an inclination toward goodness will become the norm.