Commenting on the last post, my wife asked:
"Now, why do maa'sim tovim come last in the wishe[s]. I know the girsa is standardized (and that some omit Torah for the girls who are rather encouraged to marry the Torah) but why would good deeds only follow chuppah?"
As usual, good question, but this time I have a good answer : ) which someone told me b'shem R' Mordechai Breur (if I recall correctly). Why do we invoke these items specifically in our bracha? The gemara (Kiddushin 29) lists the mitzvos which are incumbent upon a father to do for his child, and on the list (in order) are the mitzvos of talmud torah, marrying off his child, and teaching a child a profession. The bracha is a blessing for the parent to be zocheh to properly fulfill these obligations. Ma'asim tovim, which comes last, is simply another way of saying learning an honest trade, and does not being used here in the sense of manners or ethics. Proof of the pudding is that unlike what most people say at a bris, “k’shem shenichnas..ken tikanes”, which expresses this as a bracha for the baby, the Rambam’s (Milah 3:2) grammatical formulation is “k’shem shenichnasta…”, a bracha for the parent. And as most parents will sympathetically acknowledge, we can use all the brachos we can get when it comes to raising kids properly.