Sunday, May 03, 2009

bitul kibud av

I asked one of my children to do something on Shabbos and he dilly-dallyed for hours neglecting it (my parents would say I get what I deserve in this regard) so I began to wonder what the parameters of bitul kibud av are. Is kibud av violated only at the point that the the task becomes impossible to fulfill (or is no longer necessary, e.g. the parent does it him/herself) or is it a bitul of kibud av every second that the task remains undone? The child in question was umoved by my chakira; I assume he held like the first tzad despite my protestations that the second tzad seems far more sensible given the minute by minute accumulation of stress he was causing : )

I haven't thought of any mareh mekomos offhand -- Anyone have any ideas? (Same chakirah in Makos 16 kiymo v'lo kiymo vs. bitlo v'lo bitlo, but that's a different context. Rambam/Ra'avad seem to have a similar debate in hil. milah whether that mitzvah is violated every second it remains unfulfilled or only at death when it becomes impossible to fulfill.)


  1. Although you probably didn't mean to identify the child, your use of the pronoun "he" gives it away :-)

  2. I was thinking that as well, but I couldn't think of a way to avoid disclosure.

    I had an additional safeik -- since I was more convinced of the second tzad of my chakirah perhaps his holding like the first tzad (without ra'ayos) is itself bitul kibud av : )

  3. Daas Yuchid2:54 AM

    "my parents would say I get what I deserve in this regard"

    Do they also agree THEY got what they deserve? ;-)