Last week (link) we explained that there is no din of ain m’arvin simcha b’simcha when it comes to getting married on Purim because simchas Purim is not a characteristic of the kedushas hayom but is a detail specific to the chiyuv seudah.
Other sources seem to indicate otherwise. The Shulchan Aruch quotes a view (yesh mi she’omer) that an onein may eat meat and drink wine the night of Purim because the communal obligation of simcha overrides the private obligation of aninus / aveilus. The chiyuiv of seudah on Purim does not begin until the next day; clearly, the simcha which pushes off aveilus is of a more general nature. The fact that we wear bigdei Shabbos on Purim night, that at night we (according to the Rama) “yismach v’yirbeh ktzas b’seudah,” eat a festive meal, albeit a less lavish one than during the day, all point to a more global chiyuv of simcha.
If so, hadra kushya l’duchta – why is one allowed to hold a wedding on Purim but not on Yom Tov? Rav Zolti answers, based on a careful reading of the Rama in Darkei Moshe, that the din of ain m’arvin simcha b’simcha applies where the halacha of simcha directs us to focus our attention on the celebration of the day itself – v’samachta b’chagecha. Not so Purim, which is a day of “mishteh v’simcha -- b’kol mah d’misameiach sagi leih,” as the Rama writes -- however and whatever you chose to have simcha about is a fulfillment of the mitzvas hayom. If holding a wedding brings you simcha, that does not contradict the spirit of the day – to the contrary, that is what the spirit of the day is all about.